| Rebuilding Your Self Esteem after a Divorce | | | | boomerang effect! So, compliment someone else. |
| Most people going through the divorce process feel | | | | Make it a sincere compliment - not a phony one. How |
| weighed down by negatives...an extreme sense of | | | | often have you thought: nice dress, or good work, or |
| failure, sadness over lost dreams, and a paralyzing | | | | you've got a great smile? Well, don't just think it, say |
| case of "If I woulda, shoulda, coulda. That reminds | | | | it. |
| me of a blues song. I would have..." Those thoughts | | | | Honor the Positives. List the reasons you're a great |
| are pointless, depressing and probably wrong. It | | | | human being. (If that phrase made you wince, you |
| happened. Now it's time to begin rebuilding your | | | | may need help with your list!) Include things you do |
| tattered self esteem. Try these six easy steps, | | | | well, like gardening, auto repair, software |
| giving you positive stepping stones to help you climb | | | | development, writing, child care, knitting, etc. |
| slowly and steadily out of the Pits of Divorce. | | | | Develop and repeat affirmation several times a day. |
| Keep a "Thumbs Up" journal. Every day write down | | | | I'm as important as everybody else. (Sometimes it's |
| something positive about yourself. On good days that | | | | very hard to convince yourself of that!) I am a |
| might include the completion of a successful ad | | | | deeply good and loving person. |
| campaign at work. In more challenging times it may | | | | I am capable of handling my own life. |
| simply be that you have well preserved legs! Some | | | | I am a loveable person. I am strong enough to ask |
| notations can be things you're good at, have | | | | for help when I need it. |
| accomplished, or that are simply part of you. Set a | | | | Accept that you are NOT the mother or father of |
| specific time of the day like after dinner or when the | | | | the world. It's not your responsibility to make |
| kids are asleep to write in your journal, commit to | | | | everyone else happy all the time. In the first place, |
| not skip a day if you can help it! | | | | nobody appointed you God. (I'll bet you never |
| Sign up at the local gym or purchase an exercise | | | | thought of it that way, did you?) In the second |
| tape. | | | | place, you do not have the ability to make anyone |
| Set one realistic goal for yourself each week. In high | | | | else content. In time you'll come to value yourself |
| stress periods this may be nothing more than eating | | | | more and to put your needs on a par with other's. |
| three fairly nutritious meals a day. In more moderate | | | | And as you cope better each day with starting over, |
| periods it may involve signing up for an enjoyable | | | | you'll increase your self-esteem immeasurably. Just |
| evening class or joining a divorce support group. | | | | remember to apply frequent pats on your own back! |
| Making someone else feel good always has a | | | | |