| Getting help for a troubled marriage can be | | | | Be careful here. If you really are becoming afraid of |
| overwhelming. Many times one partner refuses to | | | | your partner and fear some sort of negative |
| get help for the troubled marriage, and just seems to | | | | behavior, then by all means get legal intervention. |
| isolate "hoping things will get better". Here are some | | | | There is no excuse for abusiveness in a relationship, |
| ways in which you might find some relief. | | | | and if your strained marriage is getting beyond |
| 1. Was counseling discussed as an option? | | | | control, the police are always an option. Your safety |
| Before we dismiss it, you must first ask yourself if | | | | is a priority, and restoration is secondary, always |
| counseling was an option? Was your partner | | | | remember that. Domestic violence is a major reason |
| ambivalent, or just down right against it, refusing to | | | | for many troubled marriages. |
| go? If he or she had some degree of uncertainty, or | | | | 3. Do I have my own means of stress relief? |
| might be persuaded, then stay with it. Getting | | | | Troubled marriages can create great stress, and can |
| professional help for a problematic marriage is most | | | | wear everybody down, including the children and |
| often the best way to go. Sometimes the biggest | | | | in-laws. Getting help for a troubled marriage will take |
| obstacle is finding a competent "marriage counselor", | | | | some time, but while you are sorting out things, you |
| who actually specializes in troubled marriages and | | | | must also focus on yourself. There are many ways |
| broken relationships. This is where you really have to | | | | that you can relieve your stress while in this troubled |
| do your research, and even ask around if appropriate. | | | | relationship. If you are physically able, try a yoga |
| Personal recommendation of a marriage counselor | | | | class or a meditation class. These classes can do |
| beats the yellow pages hands down. Once you both | | | | wonders for your tension, as they tend to refocus |
| agree to go to marriage counseling, then give it some | | | | your thoughts onto positive things. If your doctor |
| time. It seems that that first visits are centered | | | | gives you the ok, you could try walking, or some |
| around "blaming" each other for the problems in the | | | | light aerobic exercise. These are also great stress |
| relationship. As time goes by, a good counselor will | | | | busters. |
| re-direct the focus onto the individual, where he or | | | | Conclusion: |
| she will have to become accountable for their | | | | Getting help for a troubled marriage will require time |
| behavior, and what they are doing to repair the | | | | and effort on the part of the couple. A troubled |
| relationship rather then break it down. | | | | marriage can create a stressful environment that |
| 2. Is my partner becoming abusive to the point | | | | actually drives both partners further apart. |
| where I am afraid? | | | | |